Fixture

On another beautiful Saturday afternoon in Cardiff, it was the Sarries turn to play hosts, as they welcomed Ferndale RFC to the ‘Rec’.

From the kick off, it was the Sarries who looked like a team that wanted to record back to back wins. The game was only 4 minutes old, when the forwards got a foothold and after some good phase play, it was Christopher Parks who found himself with ball in hand. Now many years ago, it was thought that if you could catch ‘Cwissy’ Parks, you could make a wish. However, it was Cwissy who was making the wishes, he wished for support and after a sweet pass back inside, that’s exactly what he got. With the ground thumping as he trundled up the pitch, it was Tom ‘Beevis or Butthead’ Falvey to accepted the pass of Cwissy. Running like a runaway Giraffe, big Tom crossed the line scoring his first try for the club. After last week’s master class, Adam ‘The Pig’ Worthington placed the ball to try for the extras. Unfortunately, he struck the ball like a man with a wooden leg, and the points went begging.

With the Sarries dominating the play, the Ferndale forwards soon found themselves being reprimanded by the man in the middle. ‘The Pig’, eager to put things right, stepped up one more to try and add points to the scoreboard. Once again, ‘Jake The Peg’ went wide and the score remained 5:0 to the homeside.

Two quick penalties against the Sarries, saw Ferndale within kicking distance of the posts. The Ferndale kicker, determined to educate the Sarries, slotted the ball between the uprights to get his team onto the board.

With the first half well underway, it was the big No:10 from the Sarries, Luke ‘See Ya Mate’, who sidestepped like a lightning bolt. He crossed the line, and left a dent under the posts. When the crane left the field, Big Luke ignored Cwissy’s offer to kick for goal and converted his own try.

It was then the visitors turn to string some phases together, and after some tremendous tackling on the line by the Sarries backline, a monster of a man from the Rhondda who was born when meat was cheap, crashed over the line to get their first try of the day. Up stepped the Valleys kicking machine who added the extras to take the visitors within two points of the Sarries.

With ten minutes of the half remaining, the Ferndale forwards once again found themselves on the wrong side of the whistle. Again, Mr Parks's plea fell on deaf ears, and Luke ‘The Duke’ continued with his 100% record with the boot. The home team continued to dominate the set plays, and after another successful lineout throw from the new first choice hooker Mark ‘Lily’ Savage, the ball was set up and the monster Mike ‘The Viking’ Davies, scooped the ball up from the base of the ruck. With ‘The Viking’ away like a startled gazelle, the opposing players parted like the Red Sea, and he crossed the line like the Master of Sparta. With Chris Parks waving his hands around like he needed the toilet, big Luke once again added the two points to the scoreboard.

With seconds remaining, it was the Sarries turn to feel the wrath of the ref, and once again the metronomic kicker pulled the Ferndale boys closer to the home team.

Half Time. Cardiff Saracens 22 Ferndale 13.

From the restart, some good pressure from the Sarries eight resulted in old ‘G’Day’ attempting a monster drop goal from the halfway line. The big man, put his laces through the ball but narrowly missed the posts and the ball was returned by a passer-by who found it on City Road. After a fumble from the Ferndale backs, Joey ‘Slinky’ Ellis fly-hacked the ball up the pitch and the foot race began. After winning the race, it all went downhill. Joey's feet are like his hands and, well I’ll leave it there but the score remained the same.

With Ferndale infringing once again, a yellow card was imminent. This was closely followed by another, and the visitors were soon down to 13 men. The Sarries played the positional game, and the Rhondda boys were soon in their half once again. And it was that man again Luke ‘I don’t look like Arg from TOWIE’ who pushed the Sarries further ahead. It was the visitors turn to turn on the pressure, and the next ten minutes saw them camped in the Sarries half. After a sneaky hand in the ruck by one of the Sarries forwards that went unseen by the ref, the Ferndale player coach decided to play enforcer and came flying into the side of the ruck with a swinging arm. Unfortunately for him big Mike Davies decided to enact the opening scene from Troy and took the Enforcer down. After the inevitable Tables, Ladders & Chairs match that ensued, the referee decided that the two protagonists should take a breather for all their hard work. With both sides now with fourteen men, the visitors continued to keep the pressure on. With the Sarries scrum crumbling like an old wall, the Valley forwards rumbled through the Sarries line and they found themselves over the line. Fortunately for the home team, the conversion was missed and the score remained at 25:18 to the Sarries.

With the game coming to a close, the referee dug deep in his pocket and managed to find another ten minutes from somewhere. With continuing pressure from Ferndale, Chris Parks had his chance to show what kicking a ball is all about. He eyed the touchline and with the Wales and British Lion JJ Williams looking on, struck the ball for all his worth. The ball skimmed off the side of his boot and it was received by the Ferndale full back who, with the moon coming up behind him, decided to run it back but was met with a dogged Sarries defence. The Ferndale forwards were unable to remain on their feet, and to the relief of the Sarries on and off the pitch, a penalty followed. With the smell of faggots and peas wafting over the Roath area, The Duke put the ball out of play and the referee had no choice but to blow up to signal the end of an enthralling game. Final

Score. Cardiff Saracens RFC 25 Ferndale RFC 18

Billy ‘Cupboard full of dog food’ Williams.